


kick this ass for me, would ya?

by gendryw4ters



Series: tumblr drabbles and prompts and things and such [12]
Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Right?, a rough day at work can always be fixed with animal facts and stolen fries, cheer up domestic fluff, penk's mood is one big waiter-ing mood lemme tell ya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 07:50:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11755338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gendryw4ters/pseuds/gendryw4ters
Summary: “Raccoons.”“No fucking way.”





	kick this ass for me, would ya?

**Author's Note:**

> me: you need to pick a paragraph for the summary that will entice readers, make them want more. it has to be vague enough to not give too much away, but poetic enough to-
> 
> me to me: use the raccoon line
> 
> me: but... wha-
> 
> me to me: just do it
> 
> as always, no disrespect intended- hope you enjoy! <3

“Hey Lex, babe, kick this ass for me would ya?”

“What- no- I’m busy-“

“Yeah I know, but I gotta piss and I’m gonna lose this fight and-“

“Just pause it, dumbass-“

“I can’t pause it in the middle of a boss battle,  _dumbass_.”

Penk heaved a sigh and shoved his papers to the side, yanking the controller out from his boyfriend’s hands with perhaps a little more force than necessary. “Well go on then,” he grumbled, “couch is already gross, don’t need you pissing on it too.”

Skip didn’t need telling twice. He leapt over the back of their admittedly well-worn sofa and sprinted for the bathroom, deciding it was probably for the best not to aggravate the other any further. Penk had been holding it together pretty well for the most part when he’d first gotten home from work, laughing and joking along with him easily despite the ‘apocalyptic’ day he’d had; but the signs were there. The incessant leg shaking, the frequent lip chewing- it took a lot to stress his boyfriend out, but Skip knew what to look out for to recognise the moments when he was.

He’d been filling in different bits of paperwork for the best part of an hour now; a timesheet (vital, since he’d forgotten to complete one the month prior and the two of them had been reduced to living on two different flavours of ramen for the last week or so), an accident form for a newly acquired burn on his thigh ( _“thigh burns from waitering,”_  he’d explained to a bewildered looking Skip,  _“more likely than you’d think”_ ), and a letter of apology for the family he’d offended with his loud cry of  _“fuck”_  when he’d done so.  

Skip had done his best to stay out of Penk’s way, knowing he preferred things to be quiet when he’d had a rough time of it. He’d turned down the TV and pulled the plug on the dryer (he’d regret it later when his socks were still slightly damp, but still, he did what he could), and had settled down to play his game in peace. Penk would talk when he was ready. That was how it was, and how it always would be between them. Everything happened as and when it should- with a lot of patience and understanding, and a little bit of-

“Jeez Penk, I told you to kick _his_  ass, not have yours kicked by him.”

“You better have fucking washed your hands,” Penk groaned as Skip’s fingers came to tangle in his hair upon his return from the bathroom, though it was a groan tinged with amusement- much to Skip’s delight.  

“Of course I did, ’m not a fucking animal,” he grinned, practically rolling across the back of the sofa to land on the other’s lap. “Though there are some animals that wash their hands I guess.”

“Yeah? Name one.”

“Raccoons.”

“No fucking way.”

“They do!”  

“Google it.”

And so Skip did. Only to be proven-

“Wrong,” Penk noted with glee, snatching his boyfriend’s phone out of his hands and holding it above his head so he could read the webpage aloud. “The fact that raccoons use their hands as both tools and as one of their most important sense organs has led to the myth that raccoons wash their food- Skip, it’s not even about their hands, it’s-”

“Look, everyone makes mistakes, okay?”

“Everyone has those days-”

“How have you cheered up so drastically within the time it took me to piss?”

“Kicked ass didn’t I?” Penk shrugged, planting a nonchalant kiss on the top of Skip’s head and nuzzling his nose against the other’s soft hair.  

Skip fought back a contented sigh- the casual displays of physical affection having never quite grown old. “No, you lost. Look. Game over.”

“Maybe, but I got a lot of shit out of my system too, think I needed it,” and there it was, finally, Penk’s perfect lazy smile.  

“You wanna go get McDonalds?” He continued before Skip could hit him with an  _‘I told you so’_  (because even though, he hadn’t told him so, he would still find a way to jokingly declare himself the hero of the hour unless cut off within the first three seconds of opportunity),  "I think maybe I wanna talk to you about some things, but only if it’s over fries and only if I can dip those fries in your milkshake.“

“Are those things about how rough your day was?”

“Yeah.”

“And are you going to use fries as emotional bandaids again?”

“You betcha.”

“Sweet. Let’s roll.”

**Author's Note:**

> FUN STORY: i used to work in a lil cafe and it was nice for the most part except one time i smashed my head off the corner of a metal shelf (and i mean literally like, you could HEAR the clang of the collision and even my occasionally asshole-y kitchen compadre was like 'oh fuck are you dead') and i swore cause yknow, that's what you do in those situations
> 
> and the boss came back into the kitchen (while i was like crying on the floor) and said "um please can you watch your language there are families with kids out here :))" but luckily i didnt have to write any letters or anything like that
> 
> anyways! hope you enjoyed it!! much love x


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